The Promise
by Nicholas Lucien
Summary: Nick finally understands what Fleur meant to LaCroix. Takes place before "Be My Valentine." I took a very general interpretation of what LaCroix said during his time with Fleur.


The Promise

Janette stopped looking over the accounts when she heard the bang coming from the bar area of the Raven. She was in one of the back rooms, doing the mind-numbing day-to-day number crunching that was required for her type of business. She preferred to do this during the daytime, leaving the nights free for more fun activities. But the loud noise had interrupted her. Sounded like someone being thrown against the wall. She frowned. She hoped the wall and decorations were okay. If not, she thought, she would just add it to Nicolas' tab, which already included the chair she heard break a few moments before. She listened intently, hearing arguing but not the actual words. She relaxed; LaCroix and Nicolas were fighting again, and as long as there was no long silences, she knew they were alright. Shaking her head, she went back to her calculations. If only they could have had their argument somewhere else.

In the bar area, Nick picked himself up from the floor after being thrown by LaCroix. He had, at least, managed to avoid hitting anything expensive; he knew Janette would add it to his tab, and judging by how this argument was going, that tab was going to be high. Nick straightened himself up, ignoring the bruises, which would heal in a few seconds anyway. This was going to be a long day, and he was stuck here at the Raven with LaCroix. Not a good situation. This argument had started after the last patron had left and the sun had come up. He just wanted to sleep, not deal with this: the same old argument that was never resolved. "Are you satisfied, LaCroix? Must I put a hole in Janette's wall before you will stop?"

"No, Nicholas, I am not satisfied; not until you give up this useless dream of mortality you keep clinging to."

"It is not useless." Old argument with the same old phrases.

"Of course it is. You will not regain your mortality, no matter how long you search and try. No book will help you, no cup, no medical breakthrough, no blood, nothing. You will not achieve it."

"Because you keep stopping me."

"No, Nicholas, because you promised me!" So after all these centuries we have finally come to this, thought LaCroix. He took a moment to calm himself. "It is not a surprise you seek mortality. It can happen to vampires if they live long enough, seen enough. You just got there earlier than most. But listen closely: mortality can never be yours. You gave it up."

Nick came closer to LaCroix, almost within striking distance. "When you brought me across."

"No, when you separated me from Fleur."

As quick as LaCroix's senses and reflexes were, he didn't see that punch coming. As he fell to the floor, he righted himself to land, crouching, on his feet.

Nick snarled. "Don't bring her into this. She is not part of this."

LaCroix answered with his own growl. "She is everything in this." Then he pounced, grappling Nicholas, twisting, and forcing his son to the ground, hearing the hollow sound of a skull making violent impact with the floor.

Nick remained still for a few moments, then got up, but unable to keep his balance he fell over again. He hated being on the floor, hated being in such a weak position before LaCroix. "I hate you." Such resignation in that statement; it summed up his whole relationship with the man who was supposed to have been his protector. Now, he needed protection from him.

"Yes, I know." LaCroix reached down and pulled Nicholas up, dropping him into the nearest chair with a back, so he could lean on it and not fall again.

Nick's head was pounding and he was having trouble seeing. He closed his eyes, propped his elbows on his knees, and dropped his head into his hands. "I want to leave you."

"Yes, you have made that perfectly clear for some time now."

"I want to be mortal, to leave this darkness and to leave you." Nick looked up at his sire. "You know this. And you know how, don't you? Something I haven't heard of or tried yet."

"Yes."

"So why won't you tell me and let me go? You can't want this to continue."

LaCroix leaned in close to Nicholas. "Because you took mortality from me, Nicholas."

Nick jerked his head away from LaCroix, and blinked a few times to bring LaCroix into focus. That last statement had such barely-contained fury in it, and did not seem possible LaCroix meant that fury for him. "What are you taking about? I didn't drain you and bring you across."

"You took Fleur from me. You made a promise, Nicholas, but as usual, you didn't really understand your promise."

"I remember my promise - that you would kill the mortal I loved and spare Fleur. That has nothing to do with my search for mortality and your constant invasion and thwarting."

LaCroix brought his fist down on the table next to Nicholas, rendering it into pieces. "No, Nicholas, it has everything to do with that! Pay very close attention to this: you promised you would let me kill your potential mortality, which you could only achieve with the mortal you love."

"That makes no sense, LaCroix. And that was definitely not the agreement, nor how that happened."

"It is not my fault, Nicholas, that you stay unaware of what is going on around you and agree without thinking things through. And how you choose to remember, or distort, past events is not my problem. But that is what you agreed to - to allow me to take from you what you had taken from me."

That did sound more like the agreement he had struck with LaCroix.

"Nicholas, you took my chance for mortality."

Nick laughed, then stopped immediately. "LaCroix, you have never wanted to be human. You despise humans, treating them like animals, fit only for amusement and food. You have never wanted to regain your mortality. And, though my sister loved nature and science, she did not know how to physically bring a vampire back across."

LaCroix turned his back to Nicholas, walking away to put some distance between them. Trying to put some distance from the hurt thinking about Fleur always produced. "There you are wrong, my Nicholas. I told you, sometimes vampires that are old seek to regain their mortality. To choose which century and decade to live out the last of their life with the one they love. To share their love with another. Before I met Fleur I did not consider such an option, but when I saw her." He paused. "She was the one I wanted to be with, to be a mortal man with. To live and die, and in the afterlife live eternally with her as immortals in the Elysian Fields with the other heroes of old." He turned his head to look at Nicholas, his eyes red. "And you took that from me."

"No. You couldn't have been mortal with her. She did know about what makes a vampire, let along how to cure one."

"Her blood, Nicholas. The cure would have been her blood."

"What?"

"Taking a little from the mortal you love and not killing them. There is a technique, I know how it is done; it would have worked. And I could have been with her. I could have been happy. But you were right, in that her innocence would have been destroyed. But we would have been happy with each other, as happy as mortals can be with life. That is what you took. That is what I will take from you. That was your promise."

There was a long stretch of silence as LaCroix's words sank in. "I didn't understand."

"No, you didn't."

"I didn't understand what that meant. What Fleur truly meant to you."

"Like I said, Nicholas, you do not completely understand something before you meddle with it. Now you do."

"Why didn't you just do it anyway? Why did you give up potential morality?"

LaCroix let his eyes return back to their normal color. He blinked to stop any potential tears from coming. Amazing how after all these centuries of conflict, he could still have such a reaction about his son. "Because of you, Nicholas. I made a promise to you, to care, and raise you, and to protect you. I always keep my promises. And now you hate me." His voice took on a more ironic tone. "Had I known this was how you would end up, I would have left you and gone with Fleur anyway."

Nick stood up; he had healed enough to keep his balance. He walked closer to LaCroix. "You never seemed to understand my desire to be mortal. Yet, it turns out you do. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I let it die, Nicholas. I let the dream die. You needed to do the same. My punishment for you was to last centuries, so you will feel the loss I felt when you finally realized what you did to me. How you hurt me."

"You could still have told me, explained it to me when I was older. Explained it once I also started seeking out my own mortality."

"And relive this hurt again, this forfeiture I did for you? Because you asked it of me?"

Nicholas backed up and sat back in the chair he had vacated. He sat so still. So we were more alike than he had thought.

LaCroix watched Nicholas' retreat. "So now you understand. Now you understand what I lost."

"I can never take away that pain."

"No, you can't. But I can take it out of you all the time. Just think, Nicholas. I could have been mortal and would have died long ago. I would have been out of your life. You did this. You caused all of this, this tainted relationship we have. You denied me, so I will deny you. That was the agreement."

"Oh Lucien, I am so sorry."

"Sorry doesn't even begin to describe how you should be feeling."

"You hate me. Of course you do, I can see it in your eyes. How can you not, not after what I did to you?"

"Yes, but I also love you." LaCroix moved to sit in the chair next to Nicholas. "You at least give me something to look forward to each night. A way to compensate for my missed opportunity. Believe it or not, I don't want your destruction, Nicholas, I want you companionship. It makes these centuries bearable. If I can't have Fleur, I will at least have you. Forever."

Nick sat with LaCroix, both of them silent, not looking at each other. LaCroix was right, Nick knew. If LaCroix had explained it to him then, he wouldn't have understood. But now, with centuries of experience and his own searching, he understood. Nick thought about how his own life had ended up. How he wanted to make up for the suffering he had caused as a vampire, but actually everyone he had hurt like that was dead long ago. He could never atone for what he had done to them directly. But LaCroix was different. He was still around. Still here. Nick could redress at least one person he had hurt. He could be the companion LaCroix had wanted, had given up Fleur and mortality for. "Okay."

"Okay what?"

"I'll stop."

LaCroix looked at Nicholas, who wouldn't make eye contact with him. "Stop what?"

"Stop looking. I'll be honest, it will be hard, and I absolutely will not kill mortals, but, okay."

"You are not making sense Nicholas, did I hit you too hard?"

Nick finally looked up at LaCroix. "I'm sorry; and I know that word is truly meaningless, and cannot encompass the whole of what I did and what you lost. But maybe this will help: I'll stop fighting you. I'll be what you wanted. I'll stop looking for a cure. I'll reduce the amount of time I spend in the mortal world, reduce the interactions. I'll spend more time with you. But no mortal killing."

LaCroix smiled; perhaps they had finally reached an end to this old argument. Maybe he should have brought up Fleur earlier. "It's a start. We can work up to that in time."

Janette had left the back rooms and went to the bar area. It had been quiet for too long. She saw both men sitting and looking at each other. She went over to them. "Is everything okay?"

LaCroix answered for them both. "Yes, I think we just needed to get a few things off our chests. We have reached a new understanding, haven't we, Nicholas?"

Nick nodded his head. "Yes."

Janette looked at them both, warily. This was atypical for both of them. "If you are sure."

Nick got up. "I think I will go and find a bed and get some sleep." As he walked past Janette, he kissed her. "And sorry about the wall; I'll pay for that."

Janette saw the blood stain on the wall, and the floor. And the broken table. "You most certainly will. And the table." She watched him go towards the back.

LaCroix also got up from his chair. "I think I will also go sleep."

"I heard a name: Fleur."

LaCroix stopped, his back to Janette.

"Something about that promise you forced Nicolas to give, and not killing Fleur. Judging by his demeanor, I am guessing you did not tell him everything."

"Janette, my dear, Nicholas must never know I went back to her."

"And killed her because you couldn't stop."

LaCroix turned to face his daughter. "A detail you must never reveal to him. You have kept your silence for centuries, no reason to stop now."

"That you have sorrow for not being able to be mortal? Your missed opportunity?"

"No. For not having enough control to complete the process. Nicholas does have that level of control. He can never know he has something I don't." LaCroix turned back, and headed off to the back rooms to find his bed.


End file.
